Monday, June 3, 2013

Large Gaps

Normally by June 1st I’ll have somewhere around 10 rock climbs for the year.  But this year between scheduling conflicts with partners, rain, plans with the family, or whatever other obligations I may have put me at an all-time low.  Not only that, my first day out was a quick two-route top-rope day and then my second day was abruptly cut short by rain.  It’s clear by last weekend’s climbing (rock climb #3 for 2013) that I’m suffering from a lack in quantity as well as quality.

John Leading Pitch 1 of The Rib
Me, looking down at my shoe from the 1st belay ledge on The Rib
John, rapping off of The Rib
 
This past Saturday, June 1st, my partner John and I were at The Delaware Water Gap climbing a route on Mount Tammany called The Rib, 5.3 PG.  I had climbed The Rib a little over a year ago with Barry Rusnock and remember it being stiff for 5.3, but well within my abilities.  The route certainly felt the same way I remembered it, but this time it seemed a bit hard and even a little scary.  Once again, I found the height to be an issue but even worse is the fact that I felt very stiff.  I didn’t glide hold to hold, foot to foot as nimbly as I’m used to.  Thankfully my partner John was there to lead both pitches, and I should mention he did this as an onsight climb.  Later that afternoon, we took a walk down cliff to a classic top-rope, Little Shop of Horrors, 5.8.  Once again LSOH is a route I had climbed before, several times actually.  It’s pretty much a sustained climb, beginning with some delicate moves on slab beneath a capped roof, pulling the roof, and from there a couple of hard moves before topping out.  There’s a tricky sequence to executing this climb, and for the most part I remembered exactly how to do it.  But on the roof my grip was weak, my feet were too low and I pulled and pleaded to no avail trying to clear the roof.  I tried not to be too disappointed in myself, but it’s really hard to come off of two climbs you done before feeling like each one had somehow become harder…when in fact it’s me who has become softer.

I’ve dedicated more of my time to running (I ran a personal best 5K of 24:28 a few weeks ago), CrossFit and weightlifting (PR’s in all my recent lifts), as well as more time spent with my wife and son.  And for those things, I’m thankful, happy and proud.  But it’s sad to see how my climbing abilities, physically and mentally, have deteriorated the past few months as well as the increase of fear.  I know that to be good at anything in life, you must do that thing consistently.  Going back to last year, I was climbing outside almost every week and throughout had remained mentally comfortable and physically strong in conditions where now I feel scared and weak.  It seems like what I'm experiencing now is something more along the lines of what I felt when I first began climbing - feelings awkwardness, insecurity, and even vulnerability.  Over time, and through a series of positive experiences, I slowly got rid of those fears and found myself more comfortable and stronger.  I feel now is the time for me to start over fresh.  As with many things in life, be it work, relationships, or even sports, I know many people reach plateaus and lose their interest or passion.  But if it is something that you truly love, you find a way to sort through your frustrations and reconcile.   

In a few more weeks the heat of summer will make climbing almost unbearable and I’ll be spending more time at the beach than at the crags.  I’m hoping to get in a couple more climbs this month, as new opportunities and partners have come up in discussion.  But I’ve realized that if I’m not going to be consistent then I’m going to have to head back to the smaller cliffs and leave The Gap and The Gunks alone until I’m ready again for big heights, trad leads, and multi-pitch climbs.  And I know for certain I’m going to rededicate myself in order to take advantage of the cool autumn season, one of the best times of the year for rock climbing.  I'm sure that's when I'll rediscover what I had thought I lost.

The rugged talus slope beneath the ominus Tammany Cliffs